Psalm 21. John 13; Matthew 26:36-41
The spirit is willing; the rest is exhausted.
An hour and more, now, spent lying in sleep
Instead of communion which I had intended.
Having flashbacks up there, Lord, or what?
Further proof (as if needed) that I am no better
Than any of your flawed-but-faithful eleven –
The ones about whom I’d been planning to write
Before tiredness took me with its nonsense dreams.
I’d meant to inquire if you ever felt lonely,
There among the intimate dozen you’d chosen;
Those known, I suppose, as your best friends on earth;
The ones who loved but never quite understood you;
The ones for whom subtlety – and even plain speaking –
More often than not, went right over their heads;
The one who betrayed you; the one who denied you;
The ones who, like me, fell asleep on their watch.
You knew them – knew all of us – inside and out,
And singled us out to be yours anyway.
What’s it like for you, hanging out with your buddies?
Fun mixed with frustration, I’d guess, based on mine;
Annoying, no doubt, when we don’t always listen,
Or act too bored or busy to give you attention.
And it’s good that you’re too big to need us to “get you”,
‘Cause we surely don’t, and maybe never will.
And yet you still bother; still want to spend time with,
And want the affection of, people like them
And like me and far worse. You actually like us;
Like human companionship. Well, I’m awake now.