“Monologue” or “A Minstrel Audition”

So, in preparation for the Renaissance Faire audition I told you all about a couple posts ago, I had to memorize a 45-second monologue. There are plenty of dramatic soliloquies out there from which to choose, but after a couple hours online trying to find one I liked, I figured it’d be quicker, easier, and a heck of a lot more fun to write my own. I also thought it would be fun to share the result with y’all. (:

            In the spirit of sharing alike, the piece below can serve as fair game for any thespian types in the house with auditions of their own. …or as fair warning to any would-be minstrels interested in auditioning for apprenticeship to Gant-o’-the-Lute.

Caution: He doesn’t mince words. His words mince you.

* * *

So, you want to be a minstrel? Very well, then – let’s hear a song.

            …Yes, sing. …No, not “no-o-ow?!” – a moment ago, when first I told you. Go on, just make something up off the top of your head.

            Stop! “Orange”? You can’t end your first line on a word with no rhyme! Not two bars in, and you’ve written yourself right into a corner!

            Enough! I’ve heard next to naught, and it’s more than I need to. You’ve clearly no aptitude for this, why on earth waste my time with—

            Music. It means that much to you, then?

            …Yes, it’s there past your water-blurred windows: A minstrel soul.

            Well, in that case, you with me! I’ll guide you to more than you’ve e’er been before and you’ll even learn tricks that will whisk you round “orange”.

            You’ll be music’s voice yet, Bard-to-be.

* * *

P.S. – The results from my audition are in… and so am I! I’ve been accepted into the Street Cast as a Town Crier! I and my two assigned partners in crime get to announce shows and escort the Queen – (God save the Queen!) – and entertain the populace, and I’m so excited I could bust! …But I won’t. Because then I couldn’t be in the Renaissance Faire. 😀