“Welcome, one and all,” says Will Scarlet, with a broad smile and a bow, “to Will & Allyn’s Interactive Theatre!”
“Every Saturday,” says Allyn-a-Dale, “Will and I and our friends from the story world of ‘The Outlaws of Avalon ’ trilogy—”
“Coming one of these days to a book retailer near you!”
“—Will take at random two of the suggestions gleaned from you, our gentle audience, and incorporate them into… well, the sort of tomfoolery Will calls entertainment.”
“So make yourselves comfortable,” says Will, “as we now present to you: ‘Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Bloom’!”
[The curtain rises on a moving set, hedge walls of various heights and lengths slipping across the stage as if upon a conveyor belt. Walking among, around, before, and behind the hedges as they go past are Allyn-a-Dale as Jack Snow and Will Scarlet as The Woodsman.]
Will/Woodsman [to the audience ]: During last week’s installment of our serial fairytale skit—
Allyn/Jack [to the Woodsman ]: Your series of bombshell revelations turned everything I thought I knew about my life on its head.
Will/Woodsman: Ye-eah. Sorry about that. But we can’t allow any of that to let us lose focus. We still have a Beast to vanquish, and a mutual loved one to save.
Allyn/Jack: Wendy Darling. Your wife. And my mother.
Will/Woodsman [nodding ]: The Beast slipped through our fingers, a couple scenes back, but, while initially frustrating, that’s actually to our advantage. We’ll never get a better chance than now to search his garden for Wendy!
Allyn/Jack: If only he didn’t have to surround every little piece of his property with hedge mazes. How in the world did you and Mother ever get in to steal from the Beast in the first place?
Will/Woodsman [flashing a grin ]: You come from a short line of geniuses, that’s how.
[The last of the moving hedges behind them, Will and Allyn emerge into an open space dominated by a tower with a massive pumpkin shell at its top.]
Will/Woodsman: There! That’s where he’s keeping her! [raises voice louder ] Wendy! Darling!
Marion/Wendy[‘s voice from within the pumpkin shell ]: Peter? After all these years, can it be you?
Will/Woodsman: The one and only! Oh, but not only. Our son’s here, too!
Marion/Wendy: Peter, dear idiot, you had one job. I say to keep Jack well away from the Beast, and what do you do? Leave him in a basket on our enemy’s doorstep, all swaddled up in a pink paisley blanket!
Allyn/Jack: He’s not dressed me up in pink paisley yet, thank goodness. And I am no more a mere foundling child, Mother. I’m quite ready to shoulder my destiny as the chosen Santa Claus, and if that means defeating the Antichristmas Beast, than so shall I do – after we’ve rescued you.
Marion/Wendy: That is bold and beautiful of you, honey, but it’s not as simple as all that.
Allyn/Jack: Why? What’s the difficulty? The pumpkin’s not enchanted, is it?
Will/Woodsman: Ah, but it will be! [reaches into his vest and pulls out a polished stick ]
Allyn/Jack: Good gracious, Woodsman, how long have you had a magic wand??
Will/Woodsman: Since I swiped it off the Beast’s nightstand, that’s when. I’m getting you down from there, Wendy, and then we’re all leaving here in style. [waves the wand in the air ] Bibbidi-bobbidi-boom!
[A shower of glitter falling from above, the pumpkin’s top unfolds into helicopter blades. The newly souped-up pumpkin (not to be confused with pumpkin soup) lifts from atop the tower and comes down to land beside Will and Allyn.]
Will/Woodsman: At long last, I shall hold my darling Wendy in my arms again. And you, Jack, shall properly meet your mother. In we come, my love!
[With another wave of the wand, a piece of the pumpkin shell opens into a door, revealing… no sign of a woman anywhere. Nothing but a flower pot holding a purple rose. Will and Allyn gasp.]
Marion/Wendy: I tried to warn you. The pumpkin’s not enchanted. [the rose’s purple bloom bobs ] But I am.
“Aaaand SCENE!” says Will.
“If you enjoyed yourselves,” Will says, “(or if you didn’t, but you totally did, right?), don’t forget to leave suggestions for future productions in the comments! Words or phrases we’ve got to include, a prop to use, a prompt to run with… anything goes! Until next week, friends! Will and Allyn out!”