A grand giggle of a guest post today from my old friend/best nemesis forever, Rewan Tremethick, author of “Fallen on Good Times”. Be sure to read it in your best British accent.
While hard selling gets you nowhere, it is a basic fact of being an author that there are times when you have to actually sell your book. As much as we’d all like it to be a case of ‘Release it and they will come’, unless the destination is a hospital and the ‘it’ is a weaponised virus, it really doesn’t work like that.
So here I am, paranormal detective noir coming out in two days’ time (or one and a half days, or four decades, or however time works in America), having to tell people they should buy it. All authors have a problem with this, as it involves being confident, outgoing, attention grabbing people. If we were all those things, we wouldn’t have spent our lives stuck inside writing books.
I have an extra problem. I’m British. Sorry about that.
It’s just not done
Being British has its upsides. We have the richest currency in the world, the most widely spoken language, and Led Zeppelin. We also have a lot of residual guilt about having invaded literally everyone at some point or another, and a crippling sense of politeness. The national pastimes in Britain are moaning, queuing, apologising for moaning, and queuing up to apologise for moaning whilst moaning about the big queues. Then apologising for that.
Quite frankly as a nation it’s amazing we’ve ever got anything done at all. But apparently our accents are cute, so I suppose that counts for something. Now, where are all the girls who also find copious apologies sexy?
Quite the dichotomy
So the author in me would like to tell you about this book I’ve written. People who have already had a peek have said it’s unique, funny and interesting. I’d quite like to say those things as well. The British person inside of me is scrabbling over the table, spilling his afternoon tea in the process, in order to chloroform me while shouting “By Jove, man, have you lost it? Apologise quickly and then tell them the book’s bloody awful just in case!”
Clearly this is somewhat of a problem. The inside of my head is like a rather dull Jekyll and Hyde, with one of me suggesting I say something positive about Fallen on Good Times, while the other shrugs and reaches for another muffin.
“Shall we promote the-?”
“Fair enough, I suppose. Do you think we should apologise for something?”
Thankfully the book can talk
Before you get too excited, it’s not a talking book. But its quality and the intricacies of plot and character will stand on their own. They are there for people to judge, and no doubt they will. People can make up their own minds after they have read it. My job is simply to communicate the fact that they should.
And why should they? Because, Britishness aside, no author, however humble they may be on the outside, publishes their book unless they think it’s good. So for me to pretend otherwise would be hypocritical.
And before my Britishness takes over again, I’ll simply say this:
I wrote the story I wanted to. I wanted to see a world in which gangsters and ghosts rubbed shoulders. Where the most unusual thing in a Speakeasy wasn’t the moonshine, but the creatures drinking it. A world seen through the eyes of a paranormal detective; not hard boiled, but with a runny yolk. A man trying to make his way in the world without getting stabbed, gored, possessed, disintegrated, bitten, infected, or tickled to death.
A world governed by a very simple rule: Fairy tales are warnings. Legend is history. Monsters are real.
Sorry about that…
Fallen on Good Times
Paranormal detective Laslo Kane learned the truth the hard way. He’s had enough of the supernatural trying to kill him, but his latest job offer could provide him with a way out. A desperate investor has come to him for help investigating the murder of his business partner, and the money he is offering could change Laslo’s life forever.
It quickly becomes apparent that the killing is just one of several and that they are all linked. Laslo must follow the trail, even though he knows exactly where it ends: the mob.
Fallen on Good Times is released in Paperback and on Kindle on the 31st of May. Visit www.rewantremethick.com/fallen-on-good-times-novel to sign up and get chapters 1-3 for free.
Rewan (not pronounced ‘Rowan’) Tremethick is a British author who was named after a saint. St Ruan was invulnerable to wolves; Rewan isn’t. Rewan is a fan of clever plots, strong women who don’t have to be described using words like ‘feisty’, and epic music. He has dabbled in stand-up comedy, radio presenting, and writing sentences without trying to make a joke. He balances his desire to write something meaningful by wearing extremely tight jeans.
Click here to see the “Fallen on Good Times” trailer playlist on YouTube.