Welcome to the debut of the Stranger Than Truth Club Minutes, featuring conversations between me and my closest group of friends – one, my IRL bestie, the rest… a little reality-impaired.
“But what we lack in so-called reality,” Will Scarlet inserts, “we make up for in awesomeness!”
The way of it is, the Stranger Than Truth Club takes people from all walks of life, universes, times, and species, and brings us together through beautiful, ever-evolving, cross-plane friendships.
I wish I could give you a glimpse into our insightful, loving, hilarious, open community. Unfortunately, I can only give you transcripts of our idiocy.
And so without further ado: Truth is stranger than fiction. We are—
Sy: So, we’re opening up the floor to the entirety of this imaginary realm. Who’s the likeliest to fill up the air?
Tirzah: That makes it sound like a radio program.
Bruno: This would do better as a radio program.
Sy: But then people would have to learn how to distinguish between our voices, and there are really just two girls talking.
Will: Yeah, we can barely decipher it, some days.
Sy: They just need to become Robin Williams.
Will: The problem with radio is you can’t see our faces. This should be TV.
Tirzah: What kind of show would it be?
Will: Some sort of old-time variety show? Ed Sullivan kind of thing?
Allyn: You only know The Ed Sullivan Show from “Bye-Bye, Birdie”. You don’t even know what it’s about.
Tirzah: I think we’d make the most sense as an anime set in a high school. Somebody’s undead? No problem. Somebody was an assassin once? No problem. We’re just all doing our geometry homework. Don’t mind the personifications of nature, they come and go.
Little Allyn: Our teachers would have a difficult time calling roll. Some of us are the same person.
Sy: Yeah, that should get addressed early on. Gentle readers, please note: We have duplicates. Don’t ask why. The reasons are varied and complicated and we’ve forgotten some of them.
[Conversation devolves into bickering between the authors re: sentence arrangement]
Will: Anyone timing this? How long did it take before they started sniping at each other?
Allyn: Oh, I’d say a good hour, all told.
Danielle: That’s not bad time.
Tirzah: You know how group projects be like.
Will: How long before the rest of us start bickering with each other, I wonder?
Sy: As soon as someone calls you old. Or tells Allyn he has pride issues.
Allyn: Are we really going into that?
Sy: I’m sorry, are you too proud to go into that in a public forum?
Bruno: And just like that, they decide to tackle the deep issues.
Tirzah: Leave it to Sy.
Allyn: I really don’t want to do this. Can we not?
Will: He called me old! We can talk about you.
Sy: I didn’t say—
Will: YOU IMPLIED IT.
Allyn: Calm down. You’re distressing me.
Lute: Be gentle with Allyn. He’s a Highly Sensitive Person.
Allyn: I just don’t want to be talked about, and I don’t want Will yelling.
Will: You can’t have it all.
Tirzah: *breaks into Adele* *follows up with Ke$ha*
Tirzah: No! No! You’re painting me in an incorrect light! That makes it sound like that’s the music I’m into. It’s just that… appropriate lyrics were appropriate!
Danielle: Okay, speaking of music, it’s about to play the end theme. Any last words?
Sy: What is our end theme?
Tirzah: Why don’t we have an end theme? Ga-a-ants?
Lute: I have one. You just can’t hear it.
Danielle: You would.