Welcome to the Stranger Than Truth Club Minutes, featuring conversations between me and my closest group of friends – one, my IRL bestie, the rest… a little reality-impaired.
“But what we lack in so-called reality,” Will Scarlet inserts, “we make up for in awesomeness!”
The way of it is, the Stranger Than Truth Club takes people from all walks of life, universes, times, and species, and brings us together through beautiful, ever-evolving, cross-plane friendships.
I wish I could give you a glimpse into our insightful, loving, hilarious, open community. Unfortunately, I can only give you transcripts of our idiocy.
And so without further ado: Truth is stranger than fiction. We are—
Danielle: I actually don’t know what boots to wear [in my Will Scarlet cosplay], because I don’t have any tall brown ones, and he doesn’t like black.
Tirzah: Why not? Black makes the red pop.
Danielle: I mean, maybe if they were the right kind of boots, he’d deal with it. But—
Will: The black boots you’ve got are too Allyn-a-Dale.
Will: Y’know. They’re all zippers and chains and straps and—
Will: Yeah, like, flick-your-fringe-off-your-forehead.
Allyn: Pretty sure we have some black boots in the house that are just laces.
Will: Yeah, but those aren’t cool enough.
Allyn: So when they’re cool, they’re too Allyn-a-Dale. And when they’re not cool, they’re boring.
Will: Really, I’m just mad she won’t wear the red ones. She says they’re not comfortable enough. And I wanna be like, “Beauty is pain. Wear the red ones.”
Danielle: Look, if it were your pain, you could wear stilettos, and I wouldn’t care.
Tirzah: He would, too.
Will: And I wouldn’t be the most strangely dressed person there.
Allyn: You should go as a belly dancer, just so I can get pics, and someday, when you learn to be ashamed, I’ll have blackmail material.
Will: I don’t have belly dancer moves.
Tirzah: But do you have the moves like Jagger?
Will: Lord, I hope not.
What Will actually says: Who do I have moves like?…
What Tirzah hears: I have moves like God.
Tirzah [incredulously]: You have moves like God?
Will [rolling with it]: Not that I’ve seen. I keep challenging him to break dance, but he’s like, “Nah, son, you can’t handle me.” I’m like, “C’mon, put it where your mouth is.” But he’s like, “Bro, I’ve got nothing to prove.”