Kiss, Marry, Kill

Welcome to the Stranger Than Truth Club Minutes, featuring conversations between me and my closest group of friends – one, my IRL bestie, the rest… a little reality-impaired.

“But what we lack in so-called reality,” Will Scarlet inserts, “we make up for in awesomeness!”

Fact, that.

The way of it is, the Stranger Than Truth Club takes people from all walks of life, universes, times, and species, and brings us together through beautiful, ever-evolving, cross-plane friendships.

I wish I could give you a glimpse into our insightful, loving, hilarious, open community. Unfortunately, I can only give you transcripts of our idiocy.

And so without further ado: Truth is stranger than fiction. We are—

In which the StT gang plays “Kiss, Marry, Kill”. 3 names. 3 choices. Unlimited shenanigans.

<<<>>>

Amie, Tirzah, Apple

Bruno: Sy, you’re into forgiveness, right?

Sy: *flat look*

Bruno: That’s what I thought. It’s all fun and priesthood until you go after his daughter.

<<<>>>

Galahad, Gawain, Gilbert

Arthur: There’s probably a better system to base this around than ‘can I marry Gilbert, please’… And I’d get Looks from Lancelot if I killed Galahad.

Bedivere: Everyone gets Looks from Lancelot, sire. It’s the only look he has.

Arthur: Guess that settles that. Sorry about killing you, Gawain; you gave me exceptional service.

Gawain: Just what everyone wants to hear before his king kills him.

<<<>>>

Lancelot, Mordred, Will Scarlet

Dalvin: The trouble with killing Mordred right off is that you then must kiss and marry Lancelot and Scarlet.

Mordred: You just assume he kills me?

Bedivere: Um, enemy of the state. …But really, of these three, you might make the best husband. I’ll kill Will. He’s a literal red shirt. And that way I get to make out with Lancelot and make him super uncomfortable. He’ll probably punch me.

<<<>>>

Dalvin: I’ll kill Allyn. He’ll appreciate it most.

<<<>>>

Lute, Gawain, Robin Hood

Amie: I’ll probably marry Robin… kiss Gawain… and run from Allyn for the rest of my life.

Robin: We’ll live on the lam. Trust me, it’s fun.

<<<>>>

Arthur, Little John, Gilbert

Robin: A couple of my best friends and Gilbert. Really, Marion. It’s a good thing you’re not on this list, or you know what’d happen to you.

Marion: You’d marry me.

Robin: Under protest.

*

Robin [mutters]: If I were a real trickster god, I could get out of this…

*

Robin: Would everyone – just hypothetically – know I killed Arthur? Or would it be sorta ~mysterious~?

<<<>>>

Tirzah: Weylah can’t pick for Little John. She’s too kind. She’d pick, like, herself, Marion, and… Guy of Gisborne.

<<<>>>

Gilbert, Villem, Sy

Edgwyn: Maybe I’ll be the monster who kills Gilbert so I can kiss Villem and marry Sy. Sy’s my baby; I can’t do anything horrible to him.

Sy: Except kill Gilbert.

Edgwyn: !!! Oh, no! You needed him! This is going to be a very strained marriage.

Sy: Damn it, man, you killed my first choice for husband.

Gilbert: *isn’t sure whether he’s laughing or crying*

Official cinnamon roll of the StT universe.

<<<>>>

Little Allyn: Finally, I get to kill someone! And kiss someone! And marry someone! It’s like everything I ever wanted!

<<<>>>

Lute: You’re in a bad position, Syawn. Everyone knows all your weak spots.

Sy: I know. That’s why I try to keep all the power.

Danielle: Heart on sleeve, hammer in hand. Back up.

<<<>>>

Allyn: I’d have to kill Danielle. It would upset Father least.

Danielle: Nice.

Lute: My books are written.