In Which Will [Scarlet] Watches Movies, Has Opinions

Hello, beautiful people! Will Scarlet, here.

Why? As in, why me, instead of Danielle, whose web space this supposedly is? Because I have an idea for a blog series, that’s why! Nothing as off-the-wall as “Will and Allyn’s Interactive Theatre”, nor as titillating as “Will Scarlet’s Kiss & Tell”, but hopefully you’ll enjoy it just the same.

I call it “WHAMO!”, which is basically “WWMHO!” – the acronym for “Will Watches Movies, Has Opinions” – but visually catchier.

That pretty much lays out the premise, right there. As for the “why” behind the idea, I’d say Outlaws of Avalon, Book 2, makes that fairly self-evident as well.

“You said we aren’t to allow ourselves to get too close to Outsiders anyway.”

“Yes, I did.” Will nodded. “I know I said that, and it’s very good advice. But, Allyn — she’s invited us to the movies!”

Allyn only looked at him.

“The mo-o-o-ovies!” Will reiterated. “[…]Big screen! Popcorn! 3D glasses, if we’re lucky! Do you have any idea how much or how long I’ve wanted to go to a movie? This is my dream, Allyn! You wouldn’t dance a merry jig all over the grave of your best friend Will Scarlet’s dream, would you?”

There you have it. I love movies. #ThatsCanon

So let’s kick off the series with a classic film I only saw for the first time this summer:

“Breakfast at Tiffany’s”

The IMDb-Official Description:

A young New York socialite becomes interested in a young man who has moved into her apartment building, but her past threatens to get in the way.

From Paramount Pictures; directed by Blake Edwards; starring Audrey Hepburn, George Peppard.

Stream of Impressions (the highlights):

“ ‘Moon River’! I know that song! Not well enough to sing it without screwing up half the lyrics, but Danielle, didn’t the pianist play it on that river cruise through Europe? Such nostalgia!”

“Hello, Upstairs Asian Caricature Neighbor Guy. When was this movie made?* How much offensive racism should we brace for?”

*(Answer: 1961. Ren Faire huzzahs to anyone who happened to just know that.)

“Hello, Leading Man Neighbor! Aren’t you just Ken Doll cute. Allow me to stare at you with a little too much interest.”

“Milk in a martini glass. I mean, why not.”

“Hahahahaha, get a still frame of his face reacting to this woman! That is the face of realizing you’ve stepped into a Manic Pixie Girl’s movie and she don’t need no man to dream it.”

“THAT’S a hat! Hat approved! Hat coveted!”

“Your ‘decorator’, hmm? Suuure.”

“That was one sketchy weather report.”

“Heck yes, climb in his bedroom window and snuggle with him shirtless. It’s like you read my mind.”

“#PaulBaby *laughs for days*”

“This party scene is killing me in the best way…”

“Creeper alert! Wait … no? … I can’t tell if that’s even creepier or not. What year is it, again?”

“What a cute date day! What a cute couple! I ship it! I wonder when things will go wrong!”

“Aaaand there it is.”

“Fre-e-e-e-ed! Nooooo!”

“Lol, the prospect of prison. That’s always fun…”

“What?! You’re still gonna leave?! Aargh!”

“Ca-a-a-a-at! Nooooo! Seriously, you’re just upsetting Allyn, now!”

“Okay, good, Allyn’s okay now. Huzzah!”

More Coherently Summarized:

That was actually a pretty good movie! Y’never know with “classics” – (no offense, entire Robin Hood legend) – but I’d say this one held up pretty well. The leads had charm, the script was quirky and hilarious, the plot liked to twist away from the predictable formula of modern romantic comedies (which, don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating on in the least. I love me some rom-coms. Just, you gotta admit there’s a mold).

Where are the POC?

Though comparatively unproblematic on the whole, for an older film, you gotta cringe a little at Upstairs Asian Caricature Neighbor Guy. No way they’d hang onto that in a modern remake. And, uh, apart from the Asian lady sipping metaphorical tea in the background during party drama and maybe one or two black people in a crowd scene, it was a whole lotta white in Technicolor.

Maybe Danielle doesn’t feel personally affronted by these things, but I’m her brother from another plane of reality, and I watched “Dear White People” on Netflix, so you better believe I try to stay woke.

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So yeah, I think that’s the review format I’ll run with! Whaddaya think, guys? Looking forward to the next installment of the blog series or nah? …It better not be nah, because I’ve got at least two more movies off the top of my head that I’ve recently watched and have opinions about, so this series is here to stay for at least that long. ;D ‘Til next time, babes ~