Burning Bridges (Will & Allyn’s Interactive Theatre)

W.A.I.T. Button, 78 percent

“Welcome, one and all,” says Will Scarlet, with a broad smile and a bow, “to Will & Allyn’s Interactive Theatre!”

“Every other Friday—” says Allyn-a-Dale.

“Barring an influx of Kiss & Tell interviews or some such, evidently,” Will inserts.

“—Will and I and our friends from the story world of ‘The Outlaws of Avalon ’ trilogy—”

“Coming one of these days to a book retailer near you!”

“—Will take at random two of the suggestions gleaned from you, our gentle audience, and incorporate them into… well, the sort of tomfoolery Will calls entertainment.”

“So make yourselves comfortable,” says Will, “as we now present to you: ‘Burning Bridges’!”

<<<>>>

[The curtain rises on a Japanese-style footbridge over a faux pond covered in water lilies. The backdrop is painted with colorful, Impressionistic strokes, and prop weeping willows sway in the breeze of offstage fans. Also weeping, Will Scarlet stands in the bridge’s center, clutching a small, ribbon-bound bouquet of flowers to his chest. Enter Allyn-a-Dale.]

Bridge

Allyn [with a gasp, hastening to the bridge ]: Will! Whatever’s the matter?

Will [in between sobs ]: It’s Chelsea.

Allyn: Chelsea de la Cruz?

Will [theatrically struggling to keep it together ]: I was supposed to meet up with her, and I figured I’d do it here – since, y’know, we wanted someplace romantic, and Yves said it’d be cool if we used his little Monet-esque garden hangout spot from INSPIRED – and I was gonna give her flowers and tell her how awesome she is and how looking at her face just makes me wanna kiss it like she’s on my talk show

Allyn: Yes, and? What went wrong?

Will [sniffling ]: Well… I may or may not have been flirting with this other girl on Facebook…

Allyn [mouth in a grim line ]: Meaning you definitely were.

Will [hangs his head ]: I never thought it would upset Chelsea! I mean, come on, I flirt with everything! Sarcophagi and people’s couches, manspreaders, the fine line between genius and crazy… You can’t take it personally! [hiccup ] But she obviously did, because she… she…

Allyn: She what?

Will [falls to knees, head thrown back in a howl ]: She JUMPED! She posted a picture of a bridge on my Facebook timeline, and said she was jumping!

Allyn: Oh, my word…

Will [clutching at Allyn’s shirt, voice gone completely tear-clogged ]: By boor, sweed Chelsea… Brovider of such brilliant Interactive Theatre skid brompts as Hobbid spoofs and Candy Dragons and the Buffwolf… and by rebrobate ways have destroyed her will do liiiiiive!

Allyn: Your lack of enunciation is having a similar effect on me. Get a grip, Scarlet! It may be there is yet time to forestall any drastic measures on Chelsea’s part. That photo she posted on your timeline – did she include a location?

[Making noises less intelligible by the moment, Will pulls his phone from his pocket and hands it to Allyn. A few taps and slides on the touchscreen later…]

Allyn: All right, there’s the bridge picture. [reading the caption ] “Hashtag am jumping”, “hashtag… for joy”?

Will [tears abruptly ceasing ]: Wait, what?

Allyn: Will, you idiot, she says she’s excited for your scheduled hangout, and she’s waiting for you! …On a bridge on her plane of reality, by the way.

Will: Oh. Right. I guess that makes more sense than a corner of Danielle’s novel, huh? Shoot, I’d better get moving before she thinks I stood her up. [leaps to his feet, vaults off the bridge and off the stage ]

[Shaking his head, Allyn begins tapping the phone’s touchscreen anew, narrating his online message aloud.]

Allyn: “Allyn here”… “Will on his way”… “$5 says he flirts with his own tear-puffed eyes.”

Will [calling from offstage ]: In my defense, they’ll be red! Hashtag hot.

<<<>>>

“Aaaand SCENE!” says Will.

“Thank you to – appropriately enough – audience member Chelsea de la Cruz,” says Allyn, “for providing us with the inspiration ‘the Buffwolf’ and ‘bridges (especially the romantic kind)’. …Not to mention the true story upon which this skit was based.”

“If you enjoyed yourselves,” Will says, “(or if you didn’t, but you totally did, right?), don’t forget to leave suggestions for future productions in the comments! Words or phrases we’ve got to include, a prop to use, a prompt to run with… anything goes! ‘Til next time, friends: Will and Allyn out!”

“Saturdays” or “The Words I’ve Been Saving Off-Blog”

Previously, on Ever On Word – more specifically, in this post – I joined in a little weekly blog hop called Save-a-Word Saturday. To refresh your memory, the rules of the hop were these:

Save-a-Word Saturday

1) Create a post linking back to the hosts, The Feather and the Rose.

2) Pick an old word you want to save from extinction to feature in the post. (If you find yourself in want of options, Feather ‘n’ Rose recommended a site that may have some word-lovers drooling. Luciferous Logolepsy. Even its name is old and delicious!)

3) Provide a definition of your word, and use it in a sentence or short paragraph vaguely related to the particular week’s chosen theme.

4) Sign up properly on the host post’s linky list so participants can easily find each other and share their logophilistic joy.

5) Be a hero by sharing these retro words with the world!

I had such fun the first time, I determined to participate every “seventh day of the week”. …To which you may say, glancing through my blog’s archives, “So, what happened to that resolution?

Well, I haven’t been doing it here, readers; I’ve been doing it on my Ballad of Allyn-a-Dale” Facebook page. And to add an extra element of fun, I’ve given myself the challenge of relating every word I pick to my take on the Robin Hood legend.

So, for those of you who have been missing out – and as a wish of “Happy Birthday” to Allyn (whose otherworld date o’ birth corresponds to our March 5th) – I’ve collected below all the Save-a-Word vignettes that I’ve shared on the “Ballad” page to date. Enjoy!

* * *

Feb. 9/13 – The theme: Dreams – The word: “Weltschmerz”, a noun meaning “sadness over the evils of the world, especially as an expression of romantic pessimism”.
The example:

Robin’s eyes tracked the path of the wagon, laden with ill-gotten gains. That was the second tax taken from the villages in as many months, and for what? The people could lose every penny they had thrice over and not make so much as a splash in the well of their oppressors’ greed. Robin shook his head in a moment of Weltschmerz, made to wonder again whether an England in which this injustice was less than routine was a dream with no chance in reality. Another shake of the head to rouse himself, and a whistle to his band mates hidden nearby. Realistic or not, it was the dream they fought for. The wagon would not get far.

* * *

Feb. 16/13 – The theme: Traitors – The word: “Ramage”, a noun meaning “boughs of a tree”.
The example:

Allyn paused in the plucking of his lute strings; that one note had sounded rather like a muffled sneeze. Tipping his head back against the tree trunk that served as backrest to his seat among the roots, he looked up through the overhead ramage and spied a dash of red veiled in the greenery. “Will, what are you—?”

“Hush. Nothing. Hiding. Don’t let on I’m up here.”

“What have you done this time?” Allyn asked. When it came to Will Scarlet, one could hardly begin to guess.

“I may or may not have had something to do with the – ‘choo! – bucket of pepper rigged to tip over onto any particularly tall people who exited Little John’s tent.”

“God bless you.” Allyn smirked. “You’ll need it.”

“What I need is a minstrel I can count on not to turn traitor,” Will hissed. “Just keep playing like you’ve been. Anyone asks, you haven’t seen me in ages, and there’s no one in the tree.”

Lips pressed tight over silent laughter, Allyn resumed his song. It would make for lovely background music during Will’s inevitable comeuppance.

* * *

Feb. 23/13 – The theme: Music – The word: “Simony”, a noun meaning “buying, selling, or otherwise making a profit from sacred or spiritual things”.
The example:

Gant-o’-the-Lute stood silently aside as his apprentice sang in the square. The boy looked younger than his almost twelve years, and handled his instruments, lute and voice, with the skill of one who’d trained for twice as long. Naturally, he still had leagues to go before he met his minstrel master’s lofty standard, but the sooner the lad grew accustomed to performing for crowds, the better. Besides, Lute reasoned, if he were going to engage in the simony of taking tiresome money for the priceless perfection of music, he might as well capitalize on little Allyn’s impossible cuteness, too.

* * *

Mar. 2/13 – The theme: Unicorns – The word: “Habromania”, a noun meaning “extreme euphoria”.

The example:

“One last order of business,” said Merlin, glancing at the end of the agenda in his hand. “Due to an influx of requests in our suggestion box, we’re adding something new to Avalon Faire’s joust, this summer. Specifically…” He looked over his spectacles at the tall, blond knight drumming impatient fingers on the surface of the Round Table. “Sir Lancelot will be riding a unicorn.”

Lancelot’s chiseled jaw dropped. “You can’t be serious.”

“A real unicorn?” Sir Gawain wondered.

“There’s no such thing as a real unicorn!” Lancelot snapped.

Sir Bedivere raised an eyebrow. “Lance. We’re undead immortal knights of legend employed by a wizard in a magical Faerie land. If the man says you’re riding a unicorn in the joust, then let the habromania in the stands commence.” He grinned at Merlin. “Will it be pink and sparkly and snort rainbows?”

“Despite Will Scarlet’s repeated contributions to the suggestion box, no,” Merlin said. “Meeting adjourned.”

“Invitation”

Dear Readers by Habit or Chance,

            This is a request formally welcoming and encouraging your presence or participation in the following event:

A Cuppa and an Armchair” Book Launch!

When: Thursday, Dec. 8th, 2011; 7pm – 11pm (Greenwich Mean Time)

Where: A Cuppa and an Armchair’s Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/ACuppaandAnArmchair )

            To summarize from the official Facebook invitation, Thursday, Dec. 8th, 2011 (that’s tomorrow, folks!), is the official launch date of “A Cuppa and an Armchair”, a collaborative venture joining writers, artists, and the charity, Equipe, in a bid to raise much-needed funds.

            On Thursday (tomorrow! Unless you’re reading this on Thursday, in which case, today!), the book will be available for purchase online – two editions of the paperback (with images, or without) through the Createspace store or amazon.com, and the ebook through Smashwords (for all formats) and amazon.com (for the Kindle).

            Visit the Cuppa/Armchair Facebook page on Thursday anytime from7-11pm (don’t forget, that’s Greenwich Mean Time; check your local time zone) to speak to the contributors and the charity, as well as to have the opportunity to win the ebook throughout the day. I’ll be there between 8 and 9, and it would make me feel quite special were you to drop in and say hello!

            Spread the word! Tell your friends! And my post’s hundred words end… oh, silly me, that was for the drabble announcement. We’ll leave it at “Spread the word! Tell your friends!”, then. I hope to see you there!

RSVP

(You don’t actually have to reply, but you know a blog loves comments, and FB events love a huge guest tally. 😉 )