Me: Outlaws 2.5 releases on Wednesday. I need something special to hype the book. But what?
Will Scarlet: I’ve got just the thing! Allyn, you know how our new flash fiction collection highlights 45 different archaic words?
Will: Throw together a summary-song that includes every one of them.
Allyn: Wha— Now? Right off the top of my head?
Will: Just that! Can do?
Allyn: Well, I guess this is what Father trained me for. [takes up his lute] All right. Here goes… everything.
Truly Great Words (In Musical Summary)
With Weltschmerz, a tale of our Robin Hood’s woes,
While Simony minstrel philosophy shows.
Tautoosious tells us of two of a kind,
And Senocular means that you’ll six times less likely be blind.
In Ostent, a Scarlet autumnal display.
And Gant-o’-the-Lute sighs for days Cumber-free,
Then makes light of normalcy, Natural-ly.
And rather than Reverence, see Hood treat with kings his own way.
Though not what he’s used to, you’ll find Natheless
That Sir Gawain likes his queen’s version of chess.
Autological’s tale… well, it is what it is,
While Accismus fakes a concern with the lingerie biz.
Deja lu… Deja lu… Yes, that’s twice the word’s seen.
And next, Sagittipotent shows Robin’s quirk.
Barbigerous and Adoral are comparably themed,
But one’s semi-bromance; the other, not suited for work.
In Lumming, two lady friends dance down the sky,
Then one Coxcomb stays true to his legend’s brand.
And Rivelled’s the upside of wrinkles in plans.
As for freeing Scarlet from Durance, we do it – but why?
Sherwood Ecophobia? Nay, here dwells my heart,
Among Alderliefest friends ever I’ve had.
And not Tralatiously are these words said:
My Men are all music, and glad am I to play a part.
In Gapeseed and Fallow, we follow the Fey.
And where there’s a Countervail, there is a weigh
(Ludicropathatic as that pun may be).
And in Caeseious, see why a census makes no sense for me.
Will: THIS IS BRILLIANT! I wanna try!
Allyn: B-but you can’t—
Will: Can, and WILL!
Onto Erinaceous, which may miss the point.
And who needs the Ramage, with bards to throw shade?
To have Truck with us is to have your day made;
No Pandiculation, here! This is one happening joint!
Ne-moph-ilous or Nemo-phil-ous? Who knows?
Suffice to say forests are loved by the Hoods.
No place to Convive like the outlaw-filled woods!
…Now watch Allyn Bowdlerize my verses; that’s how it goes.
Allyn: Did I think that proper, I’d do it Amain.
Alas, though, I fear it would not be Condign.
In games of songmaking, the clear Boot is mine.
No need for your face to Incarnadine. Try it again.
Will: Well, as you’ll not Beshrew my tuneful Moiety
(A fact which, in truth, Obfuscate-s me like whoa),
I’ll Pore on how to best to end this melody.
…Mm, nope, you just take it. We want it to Fadge well, you know.
Allyn: Ultracrepdiarian, I see you’re not;
And thanks to your letting the expert be heard,
This well-nigh Montivigant song that we’ve got,
With its ups and its downs, has at last used the last of the words.
Me [with wild applause]: Huzzah for my Merry Minstrel! …and for his plus-one. X) How could anyone say no to buying the e-book now?
Will: Priced at just 99 cents? They’d be mad not to. Pre-order today, people! If we move enough copies, maybe I can talk Allyn into writing a ‘Thanks for Making Our Author a Bestseller’ song.
Allyn [laughing]: Consider it promised. ^_^