Sooo, I’m trying to come up with my next author bio, and it is… unreasonably hard.
Danielle E. Shipley would rather be writing a novel than an author bio.
Because a good bio’s supposed to make me sound interesting, right?
Danielle E. Shipley feels that her books are far more interesting than she’ll ever be. You should read those.
And relatable. Because, I dunno – the higher the odds of someone reading the bio and going, “Oh, hey! Me, too!” the likelier they are to care about my work?
Like the average adult human, Danielle E. Shipley too has a body comprised of 50 – 65% water.
People want to know about where you live, what you do when you’re not writing, whether you’ve got any kids or pets or a high-school-sweetheart-turned husband, some “fun fact” that marks you as just quirky enough… Or maybe they don’t? But a lot of author bios I’ve read include them, so I guess that’s the formula.
Danielle E. Shipley’s only public high school experience was a semester of driver’s ed. When she accidentally wrote the wrong phone number on the form for her learner’s permit, the teacher snarkily assumed it was her boyfriend’s digits, little knowing that Danielle would make it to age 29-and-counting without acquiring a single boyfriend, and will most likely die entirely un-romanced. …Unless you count that one imaginary woodland creature who wished so hard to woo her. And I mean, she had to turn him down, so there you go.
Except I don’t want to be formula. Surely the best author bios stand out from the crowd!
DANIELLE E. SHIPLEY. ‘NOUGH SAID.
Is there any way I can accomplish this without straight-up lying?
Danielle E. Shipley is the bestselling, prestigious-award-winning author of the most popular books on shelves today. Big-name reviewers are calling her, not the next, but the OG J.K. Rowling. She’s pledging her latest billion dollars toward the construction of a colony of castles on officially-recognized planet Pluto. She’ll be the first to live there, with her husband Captain America and a domesticated fox.
…Or worse, telling the unedited truth?
Danielle E. Shipley is too sad and tired for any of this.
Okay. Deep breaths, wordsmith. You can do this. What’s a winning combo of author facts, fiction, and form?…
Danielle E. Shipley – author of fairy tales retold, legends reimagined, and other expressions of wishful thinking. In the past, she’s worked as a librarian in a kindergarten, a Towne Crier in a Renaissance Faire, and a butler in Germany. In another universe, she’s a tenor on Broadway, a wandering minstrel, or at the very least a Dark Lord singing about world domination. Born, raised, and homeschooled in the Chicago area, she now resides primarily in realms of her own making, along with her crazy crew of character children. She hopes to ultimately retire to a private immortal forest. But first, there are stories to make.
Hmm. A little lacking in science stats and Pluto love, but it may do.
So much for my musings on bio-writing. Anyone else got any tips, quips, or anecdotes on the subject? Drop ‘em in the comments!