Truly Strange Reviews: “Of Mice and Monsters”

Welcome to the Stranger Than Truth Club Minutes, featuring conversations between me and my closest group of friends – one, my IRL bestie, the rest… a little reality-impaired.

“But what we lack in so-called reality,” Will Scarlet inserts, “we make up for in awesomeness!”

Fact, that.

The way of it is, the Stranger Than Truth Club takes people from all walks of life, universes, times, and species, and brings us together through beautiful, ever-evolving, cross-plane friendships.

I wish I could give you a glimpse into our insightful, loving, hilarious, open community. Unfortunately, I can only give you transcripts of our idiocy.

And so without further ado: Truth is stranger than fiction. We are—

Stranger Than Truth 02

Tirzah: I wrote a story – “Of Mice and Monsters” – published yesterday in “Beyond the Wail”, a paranormal anthology! In my words, my story is about Benjamin, a man who, “troubled by ghosts within and without, struggles to become the man his girlfriend needs instead of the monster he is.” But what are my own words worth? I thought. Wouldn’t it be infinitely more bizarre and confusing— I mean, awesome, to let the Stranger Than Truth club tell it like they see it? And so, beginning with the beginning…

<<<>>>

Of Mice and Monsters: “There is a man who twists the necks of caged mice. There is a coward who fancies himself a warrior. There is a man who squeezes little songbirds in his hand, listening to the helpless cheeping, and supposes himself a bullfighter, a breaker of wild stallions. This is the man that preys on small women and makes them smaller, that crushes a bruised flower until there is naught but the scent; for that helpless scent is incense to his assumed godhood.”

Will: There is a man we are not inviting to hang out with us.

Tirzah: We’ll invite all sorts in here but, yeeeeah, that’s probably not one.

<<<>>>

Danielle: So, Lute, what stood out to you about this story?

Lute: I wasn’t in it.

<<<>>>

Allyn: I wonder what fate befell the mouse. It says its life went downhill. …How far?

Tirzah: To the bottom, I expect.

Allyn: I feel I should speak a eulogy.

<<<>>>

Bruno: Props to Tina for knowing Italian food is king.

Sy: Even if she has trouble making herself eat it. Even if she thinks Olive Garden is representative.

Tirzah: I love how you all immediately hit on the heart of the story. Italian food ambassador – that’s what I was going for.

<<<>>>

Arthur: I, for one, would really like to see “Macbeth: A Comedy”.

<<<>>>

Bedivere: There’s something to be said for Benjamin’s snark-voice. In between him being unbearable, that was fun.

Will: That’s what they’ll be saying about you.

Bedivere: I’m sure that’s what Lancelot’s already saying about me.

<<<>>>

Galahad: It’s reassuring that there was a part of Benjamin willing to stand up to the monster inside him. It may be that not everyone has that, or ignores it to the point where it becomes ineffectual.

<<<>>>

Gawain: Why did she shorten her name to “Tina”? It was what, Margareta?

Tirzah: That’s a mystery I’ll admit to never having solved. Maybe it was her middle name?

Sy: Sir Gawain in da house, comin’ atcha with the DEEP questions!

Straight Outta Camelot

<<<>>>

Lancelot: I suppose congratulations are in order for the wordsmith, since I can’t so much as think about this story without choking on cheap jasmine perfume.

Tirzah: *sensorialy artisanal bow*

<<<>>>

Rosalba: Are you actually familiar with any of those Armored Nights songs, Tirzah?

Tirzah: Actually, I made them up.

Will: Wait, they’re not a band??

Tirzah: Nope. I guess with them being in there with all the actual, legitimate references, it made it look legit. Should I preen?

Danielle: I’m just over here thinking how frustrated I’d be if I tried looking them up on YouTube.

<<<>>>

Edgwyn: One of course feels dreadful about the baby. But then, it’s not as if Benjamin will be ready to behave like a father for a very long time. One hopes he’ll get there eventually, though.

Tirzah: Could be.

<<<>>>

Dalvin: Not to blame Tina or anything, but I just feel like, if there weren’t people like her, the monsters like him would starve.

Bedivere: You mean, when someone says something you don’t like, just smack the hell out of ‘em, and the monsters will be like, “never mind”?

Dalvin: Yeah. Draw a line. Set boundaries. It’s as simple as that. Except… *sighs, glancing at her mother* …I guess it’s not that simple for everyone.

<<<>>>

Sy: Even in my days as a thief lord, I hated that sort of cheap and shoddy emotional manipulation. *shakes his head* I guess I don’t understand the motivation, either. I’d rather be powerful than feel powerful any day. That’s the problem I have with men like that: They feel small, so they find someone smaller and cut them down further still. And I’m like, do you even lift, bro? If you feel small, work on yourself! Not that I’m against cultivating emotional dependence, but—

Danielle: A-a-and that’s the end.

Beyond the Wail, full spread
For more info on the antho, click the pic to check out its page on the Xchyler Pub site!

World Peace or Nah?

Welcome to the Stranger Than Truth Club Minutes, featuring conversations between me and my closest group of friends – one, my IRL bestie, the rest… a little reality-impaired.

“But what we lack in so-called reality,” Will Scarlet inserts, “we make up for in awesomeness!”

Fact, that.

The way of it is, the Stranger Than Truth Club takes people from all walks of life, universes, times, and species, and brings us together through beautiful, ever-evolving, cross-plane friendships.

I wish I could give you a glimpse into our insightful, loving, hilarious, open community. Unfortunately, I can only give you transcripts of our idiocy.

And so without further ado: Truth is stranger than fiction. We are—

Stranger Than Truth 02

Would You Rather

 

Allyn: Would you rather go to war, or fight in a gladiatorial ring?

Dorian: Well, on the one hand: a cause, but dysentery. On the other: A fight for nothing but my life, but it’s exciting. I think we’ll go with gladiator. “We who are about to triumph salute you, Caesar.”

Lute: That’s my boy.

<<<>>>

Lancelot to Gawain: Would you rather take a ten-year vow of silence, or have everyone call you Catherine?

Tirzah: [spit-take]

Will: Meanwhile, in Random-Ass Town…

<<<>>>

Guinivere: Would you rather see world peace happen after having fought against it, or fight for world peace with everything you have, only to fail?

Arthur: To aim and miss well, or to aim well, and miss? As I would see my ends accomplished, I suppose I’d best fight against them. So y’all better step up.

<<<>>>

Will: Would you rather have really big bazooms that nobody pays attention to, or little breasts that everybody ogles all the time?

Marion: … Why?

Sy: Why are you next to Will?

Marion: Yes.

Sy: I’m sorry.

<<<>>>

Allyn: Someone should ask Will if he’d rather be straight or gay. Completely straight, or completely gay.

Tirzah: Remember, some of your worst unrequited crushes are male. You could get rid of a lot of misery with one fell stroke.

Will: I guess I’d have to be straight… [looks askance at Kinsey Scale extremes]

<<<>>>

Danielle: Would you rather live in Scotland, but not be able to write…

Tirzah: FUUUUUUUU—

Danielle: …Or be the best writer ever, but Scotland doesn’t exist?

Tirzah: [loses her sh*t] I can’t let Scotland not exist! I give up my dream – my heart – my soul – my all – for Scotland. It better damn well appreciate, ‘cause I’ve got to be a businesswoman and painter, now.

<<<>>>

Little Allyn: But sweets! They’re the only thing that have always stood me by! Is sex with [redacted] really so wonderful that I wouldn’t be thinking “I wish you were Belgian waffles” the whole time??

<<<>>>

Apple: I couldn’t stand [losing my math savvy]. At least I’d be an intelligent whore in the upper echelons of society.

<<<>>>

Tirzah [trying not to wake her husband with screeches of laughter]: I can’t be too loud now. Be careful.

Danielle: You be careful. I can’t control your volume.

Tirzah: Neither can I!

<<<>>>

Lute: Absolutely everyone makes it into heaven except for you, or things are as they are now – people choose what they choose?

Sy: The first option isn’t in defiance of anyone’s free will?

Lute: No. Miracle of miracles – everyone chooses heaven. Except you.

Sy: [ponders] Well, I’m goin’ to hell for this, but…

<<<>>>

For extras, see Tirzah’s Tumblr post!

Danielle: Is “tumblr” all lower-caps?

Everyone: …

Proceed With Caution

Welcome to the Stranger Than Truth Club Minutes, featuring conversations between me and my closest group of friends – one, my IRL bestie, the rest… a little reality-impaired.

“But what we lack in so-called reality,” Will Scarlet inserts, “we make up for in awesomeness!”

Fact, that.

The way of it is, the Stranger Than Truth Club takes people from all walks of life, universes, times, and species, and brings us together through beautiful, ever-evolving, cross-plane friendships.

I wish I could give you a glimpse into our insightful, loving, hilarious, open community. Unfortunately, I can only give you transcripts of our idiocy.

And so without further ado: Truth is stranger than fiction. We are—

Stranger Than Truth 02

StT Prompt

Lute: “You will not win.”

Sy: Try me.

Lute: Wouldn’t you love to.

Danielle: You talking to Will?

Sy: Yeah, you’re thinking of Will.

<<<>>>

Allyn: “My voice may break you”?

Danielle: Well, I mean, it may.

<<<>>>

Bruno: I feel I should be wearing so many.

Tirzah: What’s the biggest one?

Sy: “F*** off”?

Bruno: Pretty much.

<<<>>>

Tirzah and Danielle: [bickering heavily]

Edgwyn: Warning label for you two: “It’s only fun until it’s not.”

<<<>>>

Bruno: And then there’s Kitten’s: “No, seriously, f*** off.”

Sy: “F*** off or get f***ed.”

Tirzah: What a couple. What a beautiful— no, just what a couple.

<<<>>>

Robin Hood: All my brain is giving me is this stupid clickbait ad that’s like, “Sheriffs hate him! Use this one weird trick for saving the peasantry!”

Tirzah: “This one weird trick turns the gold of the rich into food for the poor!”

Will: “This man turned outlaw! You won’t believe what happens next!”

Tirzah: “Find out what King John doesn’t want you to know!”

<<<>>>

Will: Was that the TARDIS??

Tirzah: I’m getting a cookie.

<<<>>>

Tirzah [re: Marion]: “Warning: Married and faithful.”

Will: DAMMIT.

<<<>>>

Allyn: I feel like Will doesn’t need a warning label. It’s like in nature: A color that bright, you just stay away.

<<<>>>

Will [re: Little John]: Isn’t nature like, “He’s that big, just stay away”?

Tirzah: Yeah, bears don’t need to be bright.

<<<>>>

Danielle [re: Edgwyn]: “Warning: He’ll love you too much.”

Edgwyn: I don’t want you to be warned away, though. I want to get you.

<<<>>>

Danielle: Warning for Little Allyn. … Nobody warned us.

[Long, messy conversation ensues]

Tirzah [summarizes]: “Warning: Hot mess.”

Danielle: That covers it.

<<<>>>

Tirzah [re: Sy]: “Extremely dangerous in general” seems to suit. “It’s sharp! It’s explosive! It’s dynamic!”

Sy: It’s even flammable.

Danielle: Aaaaugh, I just remembered he’s our leader!

Sy: You should see the power behind the throne.

Will: Why, who’s back there? OH, GOD.

Sy: Him exactly.

<<<>>>

Will [re: Danielle]: “Warning: Basically, run.”

3 out of 12 Doctors agree.
3 out of 12 Doctors agree.

Sy: “Warning: This smile can mean absolutely anything.”

Danielle: “Warning: This warning will soon cease to apply.”

Tirzah: You know what they say around here: “If you don’t like the mood, wait five minutes.”

<<<>>>

Danielle [mutters re: Tirzah]: “Warning: She touches weird stuff and doesn’t bother to wash her hands.”

Tirzah: Spiders are neither filthy nor weird. And anyway, that’s a warning only you would need to have.

Danielle: I would have liked that warning, yes.

Will: “Warning: Scottish.” “Warning: C.S. Lewis is her spirit animal.”

Tirzah: What the hell?! You people are just listing things about me!

Will: “Warning: White female.”

Tirzah: Assumptions!

Tirzah: “Warning: Not suitable for the closed-minded.”

Danielle: …Why are we friends?

<<<>>>

Hey, readers! What’s YOUR label? Warn us in the comments!

Lily-White; Conservative

Welcome to the Stranger Than Truth Club Minutes, featuring conversations between me and my closest group of friends – one, my IRL bestie, the rest… a little reality-impaired.

“But what we lack in so-called reality,” Will Scarlet inserts, “we make up for in awesomeness!”

Fact, that.

The way of it is, the Stranger Than Truth Club takes people from all walks of life, universes, times, and species, and brings us together through beautiful, ever-evolving, cross-plane friendships.

I wish I could give you a glimpse into our insightful, loving, hilarious, open community. Unfortunately, I can only give you transcripts of our idiocy.

And so without further ado: Truth is stranger than fiction. We are—

Stranger Than Truth 02

<<<>>>

Tirzah: Hey, D, check this out.

As seen on Facebook, captioned: “A police officer helping a KKK member suffering from sunstroke.”
As seen on Facebook, captioned: “A police officer helping a KKK member suffering from sunstroke.”

Danielle: Well. Hmm.

Tirzah: Yeah. Mixed feelings on this. And in case you think, “Maybe the caption lies…” Nope, there’s a swastika on his shirt.

Will: That’s hard to wear, these days. And hey, how ‘bout those sneakers in the background?

Danielle: What about them?

Will: I dunno. We were talking about clothes. Seemed a natural segue.

<<<>>>

Danielle: Well, dude. Stay hydrated, and don’t be an ass.

Sy: That’s a “go and sin no more statement” if I ever heard one.

Tirzah: You should comment that.

Danielle: I don’t like getting involved.

Will: I’ll comment it!

Danielle: Dude. Why are you always catering to her?

Will: Because I’m a caterer.

Sy: “Will Scarlet’s Banquets and Catering…!”

<<<>>>

Will: Should I comment it straight, or should I insert an adjective or “stop being a racist monster” or…?

Tirzah: Eh, accurate, but I’m not sure it fits the original tone of your comment. “Bigoted ass”?

Will: Could just say “bigot”. That’s pretty much synonymous with “ass”.

<<<>>>

Will: I’mma look for synonyms. *opens dictionary tab* “…Illiberal, brassbound, intolerant, small-minded, unenlarged” (oo-er)… “Lily-white” and “conservative” are related words, huh? Doesn’t pay to be pale.

Allyn: Now that’s bigoted.

<<<>>>

Clearly a racist.
Clearly a racist.

Sy: If this doesn’t get you girls comments, I don’t know what will. You may even get angry comments, or people misconstruing everything! *claps hands in faux delight* You’ve never had those before!

Danielle: Once you start tagging things “KKK”…

Stranger Than Truth

Welcome to the debut of the Stranger Than Truth Club Minutes, featuring conversations between me and my closest group of friends – one, my IRL bestie, the rest… a little reality-impaired.

“But what we lack in so-called reality,” Will Scarlet inserts, “we make up for in awesomeness!”

Fact, that.

The way of it is, the Stranger Than Truth Club takes people from all walks of life, universes, times, and species, and brings us together through beautiful, ever-evolving, cross-plane friendships.

I wish I could give you a glimpse into our insightful, loving, hilarious, open community. Unfortunately, I can only give you transcripts of our idiocy.

And so without further ado: Truth is stranger than fiction. We are—

Stranger Than Truth 02

Sy: So, we’re opening up the floor to the entirety of this imaginary realm. Who’s the likeliest to fill up the air?

Tirzah: That makes it sound like a radio program.

Bruno: This would do better as a radio program.

Sy: But then people would have to learn how to distinguish between our voices, and there are really just two girls talking.

Will: Yeah, we can barely decipher it, some days.

Sy: They just need to become Robin Williams.

<<<>>>

Will: The problem with radio is you can’t see our faces. This should be TV.

Tirzah: What kind of show would it be?

Will: Some sort of old-time variety show? Ed Sullivan kind of thing?

Allyn: You only know The Ed Sullivan Show from “Bye-Bye, Birdie”. You don’t even know what it’s about.

<<<>>>

Tirzah: I think we’d make the most sense as an anime set in a high school. Somebody’s undead? No problem. Somebody was an assassin once? No problem. We’re just all doing our geometry homework. Don’t mind the personifications of nature, they come and go.

Little Allyn: Our teachers would have a difficult time calling roll. Some of us are the same person.

Sy: Yeah, that should get addressed early on. Gentle readers, please note: We have duplicates. Don’t ask why. The reasons are varied and complicated and we’ve forgotten some of them.

<<<>>>

[Conversation devolves into bickering between the authors re: sentence arrangement]

Will: Anyone timing this? How long did it take before they started sniping at each other?

Allyn: Oh, I’d say a good hour, all told.

Danielle: That’s not bad time.

Tirzah: You know how group projects be like.

<<<>>>

Will: How long before the rest of us start bickering with each other, I wonder?

Sy: As soon as someone calls you old. Or tells Allyn he has pride issues.

Allyn: Are we really going into that?

Sy: I’m sorry, are you too proud to go into that in a public forum?

Bruno: And just like that, they decide to tackle the deep issues.

Tirzah: Leave it to Sy.

<<<>>>

Allyn: I really don’t want to do this. Can we not?

Will: He called me old! We can talk about you.

Sy: I didn’t say—

Will: YOU IMPLIED IT.

Allyn: Calm down. You’re distressing me.

Lute: Be gentle with Allyn. He’s a Highly Sensitive Person.

Allyn: I just don’t want to be talked about, and I don’t want Will yelling.

Will: You can’t have it all.

Tirzah: *breaks into Adele* *follows up with Ke$ha*

Tirzah: No! No! You’re painting me in an incorrect light! That makes it sound like that’s the music I’m into. It’s just that… appropriate lyrics were appropriate!

Danielle: Okay, speaking of music, it’s about to play the end theme. Any last words?

Sy: What is our end theme?

Tirzah: Why don’t we have an end theme? Ga-a-ants?

Lute: I have one. You just can’t hear it.

Danielle: You would.

“Sunshine” or “When It Rains…”

Dear me, the blog awards are pouring it! Scarcely do I catch my breath following my Versatile Blogger acceptance speech, and in comes news that I am once again a winner – this time, of the Sunshine Award! ‘Twould seem that Emerald Barnes of Dreaming Awake deems Ever On Word “a source of cheerfulness”, and for this, I am most grateful.

As ever, the award comes with recommended rules of receipt:

1.  Thank the person(s) that gave you the award. (Thankity-thanks, Emerald!)

2. Write a post about it. (Like a rule to the contrary could stop me! …Well, actually, it would have done. I’m pretty big on rule-following.)

3. Answer the questions below. (Gladly!)

4. Pass the award on to 10 bloggers who you think deserve it. (See parenthetical note above.)

Righteo – first stop, the Q&A!

Favorite colour? The blues of the sky. (Me and my minstrel both.)

Favorite animal? The red fox. (Me and my fox both.)

Favorite number? 6. (Not me and anyone both, that I know of; I just enjoy the look of the numeral.) I’ve also got a certain fondness for 57. (Me and my momma both.)

Favorite non-alcoholic drink? Fruit smoothies (heavy on the strawberries, please!).

Facebook or Twitter? Facebook. The shorter a thought is meant to be, the longer it takes to edit to my satisfaction. Half-an-hour per tweet? No-o thank you.

My passion? Authoring. …Though I’d like to nudge that down to number two, with my Author in his rightful spot at number one.

Giving or getting presents? Giving, if it must be either/or.

Favorite pattern?: Let’s go with… Celtic knots. It smacks of the fantastic.

Favorite day of the week? Ausday – third day of the week on my Wilderhark calendar. I’m not sure why I like it best — (maybe because it feels like the day upon which my tailor was born) — but whenever I try to remember the Wilderhark weekdays, that’s the one that first comes to mind. I’m also fond of Aryaday (day five).

Favorite flower? I don’t generally care about flowers, but I care about a character who cares about peach blossoms, so I’ll say that. I also care about names, and like the sound of flowers like Christmas Bells, Ghost Flower, Glory of the Snow…

And now, 10 bloggers who may or may not have received an award from me in the past, and who are under no severe obligation to pass this particular award along if they’ve not the time/inclination, but they’ve brought me sunshine, so they’re gettin’ theirs.

            1 = Amy Lee Bell of Full Circle Homeschooing – One of my first ever sunny buddies here in Blog Land.

            2 = Ariel K. Price of the blog of the same name – Bringing the book-loving sunshine since… well, I’m not sure. I discovered her in October, in any case.

            3 = Ash Silverlock of Fabulous Realms – Wall-to-wall fantasy, and the latest post was on Robin Hood. It doesn’t get a whole lot sunnier than that.

            4 = Jesse “TheMaddRaven” Duncan of The Film CAT – A young film reviewer new to the blogging scene who brightens my life with lovely, obscure words that even I’ve never heard of. *Respect*

            5 = J.P. Cabit of House of Happy – With a name like House of Happy, it has to be good. (Or was that Smuckers?… Ah, well; it’s sunny over there, in any event.)

            6 = Kate Mardis of the kate that i know – Even on her stormiest days, she looks to the Son.

            7 = Leigh Townsend of Butterflies and DragonsOffers up a quick dose of sunbeams almost everyday.

            8 = Louise Jacques of My Other Book is a Tolstoy – Provider of skylight most lyrical, and Australian to boot. *Jealousy*

            9 = Tirzah Duncan of The Ink Caster – ‘Cause she’s my Tirzah, y’all.

            10 = Tiyana White of Seven & a Half First Drafts – Even the face of her blog is sunshiny yellow!

And that, my friends, is that. Have a sunny one!